If you learned a killer new workout that made your body feel incredible, you’d likely share it with your friends. But when it comes to sex, men aren’t as liable to trade tips. This is a shame, because most men could use some help in the bedroom, both when it comes to pleasing their partner and making their own orgasms stronger.
Because you’re not likely to get much advice from your friends, we spent some time chatting with sexologists and poring over the latest research to see what we could find. In the end, we came up with nine effective ways for men to take their orgasms to the next level. Strap in and listen up.
1. Touch your taint
If you haven’t already been introduced, meet your taint—or your perineum, if we’re getting technical. It’s the strip of skin between your balls and your butt, and it’s a one-way ticket to Pleasure Town. “This area is packed with nerve-endings, so it feels really sensitive,” says Arlene Goldman, Ph.D., coauthor of Secrets of Sexual Ecstasy.
Some guys say that by applying pressure to this area, they’re able to have multiple orgasms—which is probably because you can stimulate your prostate gland externally via your perineum. During intercourse or oral sex, ask your partner to place a finger here and press onto it until the pressure feels just right.
2. Do kegels
Take a tip out of your partner’s sex playbook. “You know how women do kegel exercises and say it strengthens their vaginal orgasm? Men can do the same,” says Alex Robboy, a sex therapist in Philadelphia.
Essentially, kegel exercises are a way of contracting the muscles of the pelvic floor, which give you greater control and intensity during sex. Try lifting your penis up and down with your muscles, or even try to “write the alphabet with the tip of your penis,” suggests Robboy.
3. Change your diet
Getting in shape will help every facet of your sex life, and part of getting in shape is eating better.
Start with greens. Spinach helps dilate blood vessels, which can increase blood flow to the genitals. Other greens like kale, cabbage, and bok choy are good sources of folate, which helps reproductive health.
Next, make sure you’re eating eggs. They’re rich in B vitamins, which ease stress and are important for a healthy libido, which means better orgasms.
Finally, get down with some oatmeal. Oats and whole grains are one of the few natural ways to boost testosterone in your bloodstream. More testosterone equals stronger orgasms.
4. Hold back
Delayed gratification can be hard to master, but when it comes to your orgasm, it’s well worth it. A recent study in the Journal of Sex Research advocated “edging,” or the practice of purposefully delaying orgasm for a more intense climax. The study showed that if people paused when they were about 90 percent of the way to climax, and then resumed after slowing down a bit, their eventual orgasm was way more powerful.
It’s an easy way to amp up your game: Bring yourself to the “edge” of your orgasm, slow down, pause, and then start back up again. Try to do this two or three times before letting yourself go.
5. Find your G-spot
It turns out that men have an equivalent to the G-spot: the prostate. You can stimulate it externally by applying pressure to your perineum, but if you’re interested in maximizing pleasure—and you’re feeling a little adventurous—you’ll have to do a little anal probing.
Have your partner lube up the soft pad of a finger and stick it about 2 inches inside your butt. You’ll know the spot when you feel it: it’s a small, chestnut-sized lump that feels super sensitive. Once you get there, apply some pressure and light thrusting.
6. Boost your testosterone
The manly hormone that helps you orgasm is the same one that your body produces when you root for your favorite sports team, lift weights at the gym, or watch Game of Thrones.
Research from Athens’ Military Hospital in Greece found that when you have more T in your bloodstream, you’re more likely to orgasm—and do it big. Before your next romp, try some testosterone-boosting activities like going for a run.
7. Stroke your sack
Just before you ejaculate, your testicles rise up near your body to give more power to your ejaculation. “If you press gently upward on the testicles just before ejaculation, it’s likely to be very arousing,” says Goldman.
Ask your partner to place the palm of her hand upward on your balls, moving them a little closer to your body. It’ll heighten your arousal and increase the intensity of your orgasm.
8. Focus on the physical
Sometimes during sex, you’ll get lost in your head—thinking about how hot your partner is, pondering the best porn you’ve ever watched, or even thinking about what’s for dinner. For a better orgasm, return to your body.
Think about it like this: If you’re running, you’ll get a completely different workout if you’re letting your mind wander than if you’re completely concentrating on your form. “Focus on the physical sensation,” says Robboy, and you’ll feel your body responding differently.
9. Just breathe
“This comes from tantric sex, where you’re supposed to move the stroke with your breath,” says Goldman.
Zero in on your breath, and try to slow it down until it’s in tune with your thrusts.
When you’re just about to come, you’ll notice your breathing naturally start to speed up—but keeping it slower will improve the amount of oxygen and blood flow that reaches your genitals, making your climax even stronger.
10. Shorten your refractory period
Mentally, you may want to go for another round after achieving a great orgasm, but most guys physically can’t get another erection immediately following sex.
“A refractory period is the time after a man ejaculates when he is no longer able to have an erection,” Emily Morse, sexologist and host of the Sex With Emily podcast, previously told Men’s Health. This period is different for every guy and can last anywhere from minutes to a full day.
However, there are ways to shorten this phase, she explains. The best way to decrease refractory time is by increasing arousal.
“This could be doing something different, like trying out a toy or talking dirty (or dirtier than usual). Even small changes can be just the novelty and excitement needed to rev up the engines for round two,” she said.
11. Lower your blood pressure
First, you should maintain a low blood pressure for the sake of your overall health. However, keeping your blood pressure low can also help with your sex life. That’s because damage from high blood pressure limits blood flow throughout your body–including the penis. This can make it difficult to maintain erections. Plus, high blood pressure is linked to problems with ejaculation and reduced sexual desire, according to Mayo Clinic.